I: I hate you, evolution! You make me want to have sex, and that is exactly why I refuse to. An activity whose only goal is to give pleasure (the majority of the time, people don’t have sex in order to have children) I refuse to engage in. I only want to enjoy activities which are meaningful on a rational level, like learning, conversations, watching movies, programming, etc. There is art and complexity to these things.
If a sentient being never felt sexual desire, would they rationally want to have it? No way! If you could program your own desires, you’d choose things that are productive, useful, artistic. (People might say things like: but because it’s complicated, it makes life more meaningful! But rationalizing things that we have had to live with is simply a defense mechanism, and not at all a rational argument. If all people were immortal, would you choose to be mortal?) A sexless alien culture who finds us would think us pathetic.A life of the mind is infinitely more rewarding, because it doesn’t just give transient pleasures, but lasting meaning. So doesn’t it make sense to try to change my perception of sex as pleasurable? To reprogram my desires, so to speak? This is why I have to deny myself. This is why I’m such a prude – not because I don’t believe in happiness/pleasure, but because I believe it should be tied to things that are inherently/universally meaningful in themselves, not meaningful because of an accident of our biology.
I: *dies without ever having sex*
Evolution: That was easy.
Of course, saying that evolution is “trying” to get people to have sex is a fallacy of anthropomorphization.
But seriously here, I really believe this. Generalizing from one example, I do believe there must be other people who feel the same way. Perhaps it’s a phase people go through – they hate themselves for their sexuality – actually it isn’t quite the same, hating yourself because of something you feel is wrong with you, vs. rebelling against something you know exists almost inside you and in most other people. And then most people just accept it. I never got over this phase.
I think this belief must occur more often in nerds. But I’ve hardly seen it discussed at all (But see this). This condition is overshadowed by the popular stereotype of nerds: that simply by virtue of their booky passions, girls should somehow fall into their lap, learning and knowing things is how they accomplished everything important in their life, so getting a girl must come from the same process right? why isn’t this working? of course they should be direct about it, “let’s have sex,” not play all these social games, that’s how they get things done and why the rest of the world is so dumb.
I completely fail to resonate.