Egoism vs. Egotism, X vs. Myopic X

I still feel there to be circular blockages. Are they really circular though? Firstly, I really want to Do Something New. By “want” I mean some combination of “desire,” “should,” “need to,” and “am afraid I won’t.” Firstly, my value system says that a little bit of something new is many times more valuable than just doing the same old. However, this leads to the same problem as the “myopic egotism problem.” The myopic x problem is the problem where I’m motivated by x, but I *cling* to x, and won’t do things that help me achieve x if they involve stepping outside of x for a moment. So being myopically x hinders my accomplishing x. I have the myopic egotism problem: when becoming a better person (ultimate goal is egotistic) means forgetting myself and being open and listening to other people (which involves temporarily suspending egotism), I have trouble. The myopic creativity problem is when I put myself in front of an empty screen and try to write, when coming up with something to write involves reading, watching, and studying books/movies/etc., talking to and doing things with people, and learning more about the world. Myopic egotism and myopic creativity together make me think everything I do should come from myself, and prevent me from “standing on the shoulders of giants.”

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omg, my head is exploded.

I don’t usually media (which I’m going to use to mean “consume media” here). The reason is that media-ing makes me feel like I’m unimportant, that there are all these other things in the world that have absolutely nothing to do with me, and that I don’t know a shred about. A more practical reason I could give (but not the gut reason) is that it feels impossible to get anything done afterwards.

The media ecosystem/food pyramid has many layers. The plankton at the bottom – the daily happenings, raw, unexplained – I don’t read that stuff. Obviously there are many reporters, and they’re doing a super-important job – but if I read about a shooting here, a economic crisis there – how will that do anything besides instill anything in me except hopelessness? Let me be honest – I’d want to media to be more knowledgeable about the world, and reading things that seem to have happened before and will happen again, and forgetting them ten minutes later, hardly qualifies.

So instead, what do I do? Get my information filtered. Go to the blogs at the top (that feed on sources below them that feed on sources below them… all the way down to those plankton-reporters oh so far away) – those that synthesize recent histories, make sweeping statements about the state of the world, leave me feeling that I understand some kind of Big Picture, curate a lot of hyperlinks so I can click and keep reading at my leisure. One can make a career as information gatherer. Be curious, ask questions, do research, and blog about them, explaining things previously held jealously by experts to the general public. Hyper-hyperlink your posts.

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